frac·tion
/frăkʹshen/ a small or tiny part, amount, or proportion of something.
Until recently, I never really looked at myself this way: as a small or tiny part of something. But in fact, I’ve always been defined as exactly that: a Fraction.
I am a “hafu”, and I am proud of that. Yet somehow, living as a fraction of one culture, combined with that of another, has made me feel un-whole.
Hafu is a term that’s commonly used in Japan to refer to mixed-race Japanese people. The word’s connotation has evolved over the years, going from negative to wildly popular and exoticized.
It’s a term that was used to define me, and to this day, I still use it to define myself.
Being hafu, I often felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. In Japan, I would never be seen as Japanese, so I’d always have to explain why I could speak Japanese. In Canada, I was the token Asian kid, and with every question that was asked about my cultural heritage, I felt more and more like an outsider. Like I didn’t belong.
Being hafu, I often felt like I didn’t belong anywhere.
About a year ago, I set out on a mission to better understand these experiences, and how they fit within our collective identity. I had the idea of interviewing as many hafus as I could meet, to connect with them, hear their experiences, and try to find a common ground that I could identify with.
What I quickly realized is that I wouldn’t actually find my tribe in the way I’d envisioned.
Each of us shared realities that were similar, yet so vastly different, depending on context and circumstance. With every new interview, I was enlightened to hear how each person navigates existing at the intersection of two cultures—or being the intersection itself—so differently.
At the time, I felt a bit defeated. I so badly wanted to find other people like me: a community that I shared an identity with, a group that I could belong to completely. I was worried that my project had already failed before seeing the light of day because its premise was flawed.
But after some reflection, I came to realize that our differences are what make us. And how beautiful it would be to record and share these stories, exploring what it is to exist somewhere in between two cultures.
So that’s what I’ve set out to do.
I came to realize that our differences are what make us.
Throughout this series, which I’ve named “Fractions”, I’ll be sharing stories and anecdotes that have been shared with me, alongside ones sourced from my own experience, in hopes that someone else will connect to these stories, and see themselves in them somehow.
We may refer to ourselves as fractions of a person, but our two hafus make up a wonderful whole that I’m excited to share with you.
